Familyhood. This word was taught to me by our JCO and RH Scholars Alumni Jerrym on my last trip to Kenya. At first I thought it was just a great descriptor, but not actually a word. However, it turns out that it is a word, one that is very rarely used, but I think we should change that. Jerrym was telling me about his experience in our JCO Children's Home. He was one of the first 10 kids that moved into our home in 2010, the eldest in fact. He is called endearingly by some "the first born."
He told me that he participated in a forum with various people that had received help from a variety of sources. There were other non-profits and even for-profit businesses that assist kids to get through high school. He left there realizing just how unique his experience had been.
One of the main takeaways was that at the JCO, he and his JCO siblings have a sense of belonging, a sense of familyhood that is a rare thing. To be able to create true belonging and familyhood outside of a traditional family set-up is a difficult task, but by all counts that is what is happening at our JCO Children's Home. It was definitely always our intention, but it is something easier said than done.
Familyhood is one of those elusive things that you can't quite put your finger on, but you know it when you see it. And the place that it is the most apparent is in the interactions between our kiddos,both past and present.
I found a wonderful definition of family in the Urban Dictionary. “Family– A group of people, usually of the same blood (but do not have to be), who genuinely love, trust, care about, and look out for each other."
That is exactly what we mean when we say that these kiddos are our family and that they are family to each other. It is something that is essential for us all that you cannot have too much of.
When families experience great loss, it can often be the cause of the family unit breaking apart and sometimes it is unable to be put back together. Generally speaking, the kids that moved in with us experienced exactly that--a great loss, or losses, and a lot of chaos and instability in the aftermath
Human beings can survive a lot, but for children to actually be able to thrive there are some key components that must be in place. All of their basic needs must be met and they need a lot of love, safety, and stability. Children have to feel safe and feel like their environment is stable in order to explore, grow, and learn. Kids must be able to just be kids in order to develop the knowledge and skills that they need to be healthy adults.
The JCO Children's Home is providing that space for belonging, safety, love, and play. The mental and physical space to just be a kid. And within this space, our kiddos have developed the most beautiful bonds with each other. They have created and continue to maintain this incredible support network just amongst each other that inspires me to no end.
That familyhood, the bonds between our kiddos, is precious, even sacred. We gave them the support, the love, and the space and, as a result, this is what they have created. We have said from the beginning we believe that by helping these kiddos they will actually be the ones to change the world--and this is one of the most heartening examples of them doing just that.
